Patsy Holman
One year ago today, my mom was taken from us by sepsis. Two weeks prior to her death, we had been on vacation at the beach and all was well. In hindsight, I now know my mom was in so much pain and was protecting us from worrying about her. For several months, my mom just wasn’t herself. Again, in hindsight I wish I would have been more forceful in ensuring she went to the doctor and got a second opinion, but it’s hard living in another state, as well as mom was covering up her pain because she never wanted her kids to worry.
She visited her doctor so many times with pain in her hips and legs. Her doctor would recommend physical therapy and then moved on to giving her injections in her hip to give some relief for the pain. She was also prescribed pain meds, but I didn’t find that out until she was gone.
My mom went to the ER in pain two weeks after she got back home from our vacation. She was sent home with a paper outlining “sciatica” pain and exercises to help alleviate the pain. That night my sister spent the night with her to make sure she was ok. In the middle of the night, my sister awoke to my mom screaming from being in so much pain. My mom was then taken to the local hospital and admitted. They took back x-rays and put her on a morphine drip for her pain. The hospital managed her pain for a day and night and then life was changed forever….we got the call that my mom had a stroke in the night and was being life flighted to another hospital that was in a larger city and able to handle my mom’s situation better.
Mom had sepsis and the stroke was one complication of many to come with sepsis. Everything moved at lightning speed in those next few days of making travel plans to get up to where my mom was, praying for my mom to have the strength to make it through, and a million other things that go through your mind when your mom is in trouble. They pushed antibiotics as fast and as strong as possible. The next 7 days me and my siblings were with mom in the neuro ICU through it all. Each day when the team of doctors arrived, we would await their words to decide if the positives outweighed the negatives for that day. Each day was just a roller coaster of emotions for all. Even though our mom wasn’t able to open her eyes or speak to us, we continued to talk to her, laugh with her, and just hold on to her in the hopes she was in there. We all thought our prayers were answered when the morning of September 11, 2015, our mom opened her eyes and was asking for food and drink! She said she had been hearing everything we had been saying the whole time in the hospital.
She was able to talk to each of us kids in her own way and even chuckled a few times. We all breathed a sigh of relief so huge and thanked god for the miracle of giving us our mom back. They say people get one last burst of strength before they go at times and now I believe this is what happened with mom. She wanted us to know she loved us, wanted us to know she was ok, and wanted to make her three kids laugh together one more time.
Mom would deteriorate throughout that day before we could get back in to see her with the limited visiting hours. When we did get back in to see her, she was much more sleepy, breathing was more labored, and not following any commands. The staff made us leave, so they could do another CT scan to see if something was going on. We sat in the waiting room and the feelings were gut-wrenching. Then the worst thing we could want and something all along we said we never wanted to happen…happened…the nurse came out and said the doctor wanted to speak with us in the conference room. The next few hours/days/weeks are a blur. We were able to be bedside when mom left us. In my heart, I believe she knew we were there.
I share this story in hopes that people realize the importance of getting a second opinion when “something just doesn’t feel right” with your body or medically. Also, recognize the signs of infection and act quickly in treatment to save lives! As I move through this grieving process, I will continue to research sepsis and participate in community activities to support healthcare providers recognizing sepsis sooner and providing the treatment that is crucial and save lives. We will never fully know where my mom’s infection started and how it progressed, but I take strength that she isn’t in pain anymore and she wouldn’t have wanted to live in the compromised state the stroke left her in. RIP Mom and with this story, maybe we can save a life! Peace to all!
Source: Tracy Fullgraf (Patsy's daughter)
