Neihoineng Lhouvum

23rd November, 2013.

Heavily pregnant at 30 weeks, I sat down on that Saturday noon on my low wooden table and started scrubbing at my small number of pots and pans. I finished it in no time and was quite satisfied with myself after seeing the result of my hard work. As I entered the room, I felt a pain on the right side of my buttock. Thus started my long journey of pain and loss. (Sepsis and Pregnancy & Childbirth)

24th November, 2013.

I woke up to the voice of my kids asking for breakfast. I still felt the pain and after doing my household chores, I asked husband dear to massage the area. To our horror, the pain just became unbearable and I cried in pain. Without losing time, we went to an emergency room only to be told to come back (to OPD) the next day.

25th November, 2013.

Being Monday, my kids had to go to their school to appear their Final Examinations. But all I can do was swallow pain relief tablets and lie on the bed. While the kids were in school, we went to a Wellness Centre and informed my doctor of my predicaments. To my consolation, I got four days bed rest and informed my Office immediately of my sickness.

26th November, 2013.

We (husband and I) set out to the hospital OPD once again without taking pain relief medications. I was in severe pain and became very weak. I have no more strength so I rely on a wheelchair for movement. Their gynaecologist found nothing wrong with my baby and myself, and referred me to the orthopaedic ward. Since I was pregnant, I was told that X-ray, MRI, CT scans were risky. So they asked for ultrasonography scan on my right buttock and found nothing. Then, I was referred to neurology again. However, the neurologist told us that everything was fine from his side. Disappointed and dejectedly, we returned with a prescription of pain relief injections.

27th November, 2013.

Losing my hope in Govt. doctors, we went to a private centre where acupuncture is done. But to our amazement, the door was opened but the practitioner wasn’t there. We wasted almost all day and returned home.

28th November, 2013.

I lied on the bed, moaning and crying at times due to the unbearable pain. My health deteriorated hour by hour. By afternoon, I lost my ability to stand, and my urine output was almost nil. Nightfall, my breathing became difficult. Luckily for me, my brothers came to our aid. So, they rushed me to another hospital and was admitted at the ICU immediately.

29th November, 2013.

My mind still working perfectly and I remember being examined by a gynaecologist, a psychiatrist and several other doctors. I was wheeled into different rooms for scans. My blood was drawn umpteen times for diagnosis. Doctors informed my husband to prepare for blood transfusion due to the possibility of performing caesarean section. The amniotic fluid was almost nil.

30th November, 2013.

The nurses prepared me for delivery. I had no idea I was very very sick. It was too risky to let me go beyond the ICU and so I had to give birth to my child there in the ICU itself. My doctors couldn’t risk me by performing C-section. So I had to give birth naturally. Ironically, my baby reached her seventh month that fateful day. I gave birth that Thursday to a baby girl named Abigail who went to meet her creator soon after. 31st November to 04th December, 2013.

I had no idea how the days passed. I lost my mind and talk senseless things. Meanwhile my psychiatrist was never absent. I had wanted to see my daughter so much and always asked my husband and brother to show me her photograph. My husband says, “She is also in the ICU like you and you can meet her once you are fine.” I believed him and said no more. Have been in the ICU for a long time already. The people beside me had gone and new ones were coming. I felt like I was trapped in there. All I did during my sane time was trying to make a meaning of ‘Attendants are to wear mask, gloves, gowns and slippers,’ which was written on the glass door of the room.

5th December to 12th December, 2013.

My doctor reluctantly transferred us to private ward with a sign on the door,” Only two attendants allowed.” It was meant to ward off visitors and my husband was strictly instructed. But then, due to the great number of well wishers, my husband once had a scene with my doctor.

I had become paralyzed. I couldn’t turned sideways. I couldn’t move my limbs. I had fevers in the morning for many days, which the doctors blamed at the use of catheter. I shivered and couldn’t breathe every time they injected me with Amikacin and chloramphenicol. I hated being so helpless. The cleanliness freak that was me was gone. I smelled like shit. Mostly, I hated being confined to bed. Moreover, I missed my kids badly.

One day, I called my mom in-law and asked her about my newborn daughter. She hastily told me to think about my health first and got off the phone. I had become very curious and insisted on my husband to bring a photo of my baby. Once, I was off the ventilator, he broke down and told me the bitter truth about my daughter. It hit me hard. But since, I am one who can control myself, I was better than him. It was only afterwards that the realization hit me and became inconsolable.

13th December, 2013.

I refused taking two of my antibiotics and my doctor was at loss for words and since we pressed him to discharge us very soon, he lost his cool. We waited for my blood culture report. Ironically, my report arrived that day and to the shock of my doctor, I had sepsis with SIRS. He almost begged me to look after myself well and take his medications sincerely. Not even knowing what sepsis was, we came home.

14th December to 23rd December, 2013.

I was at home, getting two shots of antibiotics everyday. I had to take a handful of tablets as well. I had my first bath in almost a month and feel like a newborn baby.

24th December, 2013.

We went to the hospital for a check up. My doctor was amazed to see me still immobile. He gave me a new set of antibiotics and referred me to the first hospital.

27th December to 28th December, 2013.

We went to the hospital and I was admitted once again. Second round of diagnosis was done on 28th. Luckily for us, my parents and cousins arrived and they planned on taking us back home. We stayed till the night of 28th and got discharged without seeing any of the diagnostic results.

30th December,2013.

We reached Imphal and got admitted at yet another hospital the evening itself. Third round of diagnosis started there the night itself. My condition got better every passing day. I began to have the courage to stand up and started taking baby steps. By the last day of the first week, I had become a toddler taking ten steps without any help. My vitals looked better and my blood pressure also became normal. we stayed for 8 more days.

8th January, 2014.

We got discharged on this day and my doctor stopped all my antibiotics and gave me a new set of medicines. I took it for a week and waited for my check up.

15th January, 2014.

We went to Shija for check up. My doctor referred me to the first hospital once again. I was to take two more blood test and showed him the results.

16th January, 2014.

We went to give my blood samples.

17th January, 2014.

We went to my hometown Molnom and was greeted by my jubilant kids.

20th January, 2014.

We went to Imphal again for the blood results and showed it to my doctor. Since the most feared test showed negative, he referred me to physiotherapist.

21st to till now…

I go to my physiotherapist till today and my husband accompanies me without fail. My condition improves every passing day. I even had the strength to sit on the desk and type all this. I don’t know how I got this deadly disease but I believe it is due to the boils, which led to myopyositis and later to sepsis. I cannot describe in detail all my sufferings, physically and mentally and my family who had to undergo lots of emotions and difficulties. I cannot even mentioned all the people who were there and who is for me till today.

In spite of all, I am alive though my baby girl has gone forever.

My tribute to baby Abigail and my love to my husband Sonminthang Haokip and children Ngamlengou Haokip and Henchamsat Haokip.