Posted on October 26th, 2018
Back in early March of 2014, I went in for surgery to get my C-section done to have my set of boy/girl twins. Never did I know that I would be setting myself up for failure. (Sepsis and Pregnancy & Childbirth) Not only did they go fishing around in my spine trying to give me a local after I told them I was born with congenital scoliosis and they weren’t going to find my spine, but then they weren’t even able to use it and put this face mask on me to give me anesthesia and gave me too much.
My heart stopped pumping, my breathing stopped. They ended up having to resuscitate me and deliver the babies and then put two blood transfusions two bags of iron and a bag of platelets into me to keep me alive. They had me so doped up on these medications they were giving to me intravenously that I really don’t remember too much about what exactly went on, but I would say about two weeks after the surgery everything seemed to be getting worse.
I wasn’t able to keep food down or water, not even crackers. I was disoriented, getting dizzy all the time, confused, not really remembering much of anything and my stomach was starting to swell up like I was pregnant again but I hadn’t had any sexual intercourse to get that way. From the inside I felt like I was growing fire. I kept telling my gynecologist that my stomach felt hot but no matter how many times I tried to tell him all of my symptoms and explain to him I didn’t feel right, he kept blowing me off. He even went so far as to tell me I was being a hypochondriac. Well nevertheless, from the day of my c-section on March 18th 2014 until April 9th 2014, I was filling up with infection and became septic.
April 9th I woke up in the morning or early afternoon to what I thought was my kids having a dirty diaper and ask for someone to check them. When the response was there isn’t any poop in any of their diapers, it had never dawned on me what else it would have been. I asked my kids’ father to help me get up to go pee. He lifted up the blanket and immediately said oh my God and I was all like what’s wrong? Suddenly he pulls the pillow out of between my knees which puts me in immediate pain I’m screaming at him, asking him why the hell he pulled this out of between my knees, when he completely uncovers the bed from the blanket and we both see the entire bed blankets sheets pillows and all, all the way down through the mattress have done been completely submerged in this dark brown and red nasty worse than a porter potty smelling stuff.
I’m freaking out, like what the heck is that and my kids’ father goes to lift up my stomach and I’m like, no don’t touch that and before all of the words could come out of my mouth, he had lifted up my stomach and I immediately started gushing like a waterfall. Automatically I think I’m dead, that I’m going to bleed out this way and die. They had to call an ambulance. About 15 to 30 minutes later the ambulance arrived. The whole time I’m freaking out thinking that I’m going to die before the ambulance even gets there. They had to pick me up ever so slightly and roll me on to this big orange tarp looking thing and carry me out of my apartment complex to put me in the ambulance and get me to the hospital.
When I get there the doctor took one look and immediately told the doctors to prep me for surgery. I’m like what?! I don’t even have anybody here with me, I can’t have surgery. And the doctor said otherwise you won’t make it. That was the last of our conversation. Next thing I know I was being prepped for surgery they put an IV in my arm and knocked me out. According to what they told me, I had flatlined during surgery and they had to resuscitate me, and remove all kinds of infection but they didn’t tell me exactly what all they removed inside me but they did say not to remove the bandage. At this time I didn’t have any strength so I wasn’t going to try to even move.
I ended up being doped up with a bunch of medication again. Apparently they gave me a bunch of antibiotics and something called liquid Dilaudid 4 mg into my IV, and pills that were called percocet 10mg, and they did this every 4 hours. Although I could still feel quite a bit of pain, it made me so drowsy I would fall asleep. I had to stay in the ICU for about a week all by myself, miserable thinking that I was going to die and no one was going to be there with me.
I only got two visits the whole time I was there and that was my kids’ father once, and my grandfather which also brought a brand new outfit for me to wear when I went home because I didn’t have but a pair of underwear and a t-shirt on when I went to sleep before I woke up like that. According to what I was told, they had to leave my abdomen wound open and that it was 6 inches deep, 8 inches across and 3 inches open. They told me that it was a miracle that I even survived because if I would have showed up 5 minutes later I would have been dead. Apparently my body went into shock because they told me they didn’t think it was as bad until they went and opened me up.
When they sent me home I had to have this machine called a wound vac, it’s where they cut a piece of foam to the size and shape of your wound fill it in with it, this certain kind of tape over it pinch it, attached a tube that went to the actual machine itself that was supposedly supposed to suck the infection out. I had a home nurse that came out twice a week and cleaned it up but I wasn’t able to do anything at all by myself. I had to stay in bed not move for over 4 months other than for someone to help me go to the bathroom. At this time I lost almost every bit of my muscle. I looked like a bag of bones because my body had so much skin with no actual meat in it, so sickly. I have gained fat and very very little muscle since then, but at this point in time I can barely even handle holding a gallon of milk out for my body without my arm giving out and my elbow looking like it’s going to bend backward. I can’t sit in one spot for a very long time I cannot stand for more than 40 minutes without my back going out and fainting from pain and I can’t even sleep fully because I’m in so much pain. I’m constantly having to shift positions to alleviate some of the pain, muscle spasms and twitches sharp stabbing feelings. I honestly think I have a few pinched nerves, one of which in my hip and a couple of them in my back somewhere.
My lower abdomen where the C-section and sepsis surgery was, is now a really hard thickened dipped inward scar that honestly kind of feels like it’s attached to an organ or maybe intestine or something inside. I have no actual feeling other than pressure or if it is really hot or really cold touching me. It kind of feels like it is burning me from my scar all the way to the middle of my belly button. My belly button is kind of sideways now too. Ever since this is happened, I have had some of the worst most horrifying horrendous nightmares. I freaked out easy. I’m scared to go to doctors. I haven’t gone to a doctor since 2014, honestly I’m too scared to go. I would rather die from a natural cause than for a doctor to chop me up and leave me for dead. Honestly I wish they would have told me what I was getting into before I ever even let them cut me open to give me that C-section because if I would have known this would have happened, I wouldn’t have let them do it.
I lost my ability to take care of myself. I lost my kids I had to give them up for adoption because I couldn’t take care of them. I lost my housing because I couldn’t make any income to pay my rent. My kids’ father left me, I had to try to take care of myself the best I could not being able to do much. Thank God for giving me the strength I did have until I found the love of my life, my fiance. If it wasn’t for him I probably wouldn’t be here. Ever since I gave my kids up for adoption I’ve been having to pay child support for them for when they were in Children Services in the beginning before they were adopted. They still expect me to work after all of this but I don’t have any actual proof or any income of my own to get a lawyer to try to get my disability because I’m only 26 years old now, and they think that since I was a mom at home taking care of my kids, not actually having a job paying into disability and the fact that I’m so young that I shouldn’t qualify for Social Security disability or SSI because I can’t get the proof without going to a doctor.
Honestly I wish God would send me the strength to bear through this and figure out a way to maybe overcome some of my fears to be able to do what I need to do and maybe go to doctors that really listen to me ones that I can trust so I can get the help I really need. I’m just so scared no one really wants to listen no one wants to believe anything that I tell them about what happened to me. I feel like a failure a burden. I just wish everything could go back to normal.