Nicole Cordova

I am a sepsis survivor.

My ex-husband and I were having problems getting pregnant (we tried for 3 years already) and I saw one of the top ob/gyns in the state in the summer of 2006. I had a laparoscopic endometrial ablation in hopes that was the reason why was due to severe endometriosis. (Sepsis and Surgery) Unfortunately, during that operation, my bowel was perforated. (Sepsis and Perforated Bowel)

A few days had passed and I was having excruciating abdominal pain. I went back to the hospital and was told that it was just air left from my recent surgery, but I was admitted due to the pain. My memory is fuzzy and I was incoherent during this time; the last thing I remember is going to the hospital. I was seen by a psychiatrist, who told my husband that I just wanted attention. I was treated like an attention whore early on by the medical staff; I was being discharged and needed a urine sample which only showed elevated levels, but nothing to ring alarms. I had to urinate again and that was when my ex-husband, Jason, looked at my urine and complained that there were chunks of my kidney in it. My kidneys were in complete renal failure. Prior to that emergent surgery, he had to clean feces out of my vagina and body without any help from the nursing staff.  I was rushed into surgery looking for a tear in my colon and 6 hours later they found it, right when the surgeon was about to give up. The perforation was so tiny that it was looked over twice prior and if I was sent home like was originally planned, I would have been dead in an hour. My family was told to start thinking about funeral plans, say their good-byes because I had a less than 10% chance of surviving.  I was given a cancer medication and was hallucinating to the point I had to be restrained due to confusion and me trying to pull out any lines. I was in a coma for about 6 weeks.

The only reason I am alive today is that Jason didn’t give up on me through it all. I almost died 6 times and was comatose on a ventilator. My mother wanted to take me off life support. She refuses to talk to me about this time of my life, that I talked nonsense and she relied on her faith when confronted about ending my life. She went behind my ex-husband’s back and had my last rights read to me by the hospital’s chaplain.

I woke up in the ICU, eventually was released about a month after that. I had to keep the colostomy until the end of the year to allow myself to heal. I tried to return to work but eventually was fired for missing too many days in a given year. The nightmare was just beginning and I suffered from post sepsis syndrome. (Sepsis and Post-Sepsis Syndrome)

I had rheumatoid arthritis prior and the sepsis made that go into hyperdrive and also developed fibromyalgia. The sepsis destroyed my life; I had to give up my career and go on social security disability. I could no longer have children and the stress caused my marriage to fall apart a little over a year later. I had no family support and with my husband gone, I was alone in the healing process. I have had to have about 13 abdominal surgeries for a reoccurring hernia, scar tissue has caused my organs to shift and I have permanent chronic pain in my lower left abdomen. Mentally, I suffer from PTSD because I remember being awake while I was being intubated, during one of the initial surgeries. (I had numerous surgeries during this time for an infection, numerous bouts of pneumonia) (Sepsis and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) It took me years to be able to let go of the anger that I carried. I lived, so, therefore, there was no malpractice case.

I have had trouble with my memory due to slight brain damage. Even though it has been over 10 years since the sepsis, it affects my daily life such as chronic pain and fatigue. I have an abdominal scar that looks like I have been gutted, which did affect my self-esteem. I wish I had found this website sooner, but I am alive and thriving as best as I can.

I have my bad days and I take advantage of my good days. Yoga has been one of the best things that I have done for myself. I am still in the therapy (because it helps); I surround myself with close friends who understand I may not be able to do some things. I’m probably the only person, if not one of a few people with no belly button. I find joy being a geek and attending local comic and pop culture cons. I am on good terms with Jason and we are close friends who talk frequently.