Pamela Sue Horkman

Although it doesn’t state the circumstances of Patty Duke’s condition leading up to her ruptured intestines, which caused sepsis, a severe internal infection, this is also how my mother passed away.

I know many of you have read my numerous Facebook posts following my grief and have sent me many encouraging messages and condolences. I’ll forever be humbled by all the love and support. It’s given me great strength to get through these months, to be strong and to find happiness again. I also realize I have never explained the circumstances of my mother’s death. Now, reading a story like this, it all comes flooding back. I think now is as good of a time as any to explain what happened and how important it is to be aware of your health. Especially all you women who are mothers who put your health and well being last all the time! Don’t! You’ll only hurt your family more.

For many years my mom suffered from a hernia problem. A hernia she thought she could live with and put off surgery, because like many moms and women “We’re just too busy to be on restrictions for 6 weeks.” The week of July 10th, 2015, she had started throwing up. It came on quick and went, and she brushed if off as the flu. “Oh, I just have a horrible stomach virus. Keep the kids away Jennifer, I’d hate for them to get this.”

I’d call her and check in several mornings in those weeks. Some days she’d tell me she was feeling a little better. I’d tell her to drink lots of water and get her rest so she could shake whatever virus she had. We were making plans for her to get well and come spend the night on Friday, July 17 2015. The kids were asking for her to sleep over and watch movies like we did for all of her visits. They missed her because she hadn’t stayed over in awhile. But on Friday morning, she called me at work and cancelled, telling me she just couldn’t, the throwing up came back and she felt awful.

I told her, “Mom, you really should go to the doctor to make sure this is nothing more serious. I really think you should go.”

“Yes, if I’m not better by the end of this weekend, I’ll go Monday morning,” she told me.

Relieved, I accepted her suggestion. However Monday came and went. For whatever reason, she held out until Tuesday morning. By then it was too late. We lost my mom at 11:50am on Wednesday July 22, 2015. Almost exactly 24 hours after she was admitted.

“If I had had her just five days ago, maybe even two days ago, I know I could have saved her,” the surgeon told us. Twenty-four hours before my mom died, at 2pm, they wheeled her into surgery. My last words to her were “I love you, take care.” I couldn’t think of anything more to say. I was shaking. My mom reached for me and kissed me so desperately. It panicked me, but I hid my fear

Everything was moving so fast. So many doctors and nurses were swarming around her. I kept looking at the boom box looking contraption at the foot of my mom’s bed. I knew what those were. Paddles. The nurses and surgeons were telling us “Your mom is very sick, and we’re going to do everything we can to take care of her. We have a cardiologist on stand by waiting in the OR.” It became a blur, like I was stuck in the middle of some awful episode from one of those hospital dramas that I now refuse to ever watch again.

They shocked her, 3, 4, 5 times when she went into cardiac arrest during surgery. They had trouble stabilizing her when they moved her from the OR to ICU. The surgeon did the best she could at removing all the toxins which had spread throughout her entire cavity. They removed her gall bladder which was gangrene. And the rupture was also repaired. After numerous conversations with my mom’s surgeons and nurses, this was what was suspected.

The vomiting started because her bowels became obstructed by the hernia. Her intestines had slipped into the hernia and became strangulated, therefore nothing could pass so her body was sending it back the other way. Therefore she also felt constipated because nothing could pass due to the strangulation.

Her intestines are speculated to have perforated about 4-5 days prior to her admission to the ER. The sepsis was well in her blood by the time she got to the hospital. Once sepsis sets in, if not IMMEDIATELY treated, it spreads rather quickly to vital organs like the kidneys and heart. This is exactly what happened with my mom. Her kidneys and heart had become weakened from the sepsis prior to surgery because it had been in her blood stream so long.

We had a kidney specialist called in to see if anything more could be done because by then her kidneys were failing. Everyone fought so hard. Including my mom, she fought the hardest. My last sign from her, while holding her hand telling her, “mom you have to get good and mad and fight hard. We’re all here for you. We love you.” She moved her thumb in my hand. I got so excited! It was something! Yes! She’s responding. My brother made a joke to her later on and she made a grunting face. She was listening to us! There was hope!

We weren’t preparing for the Code Blue alarms that sounded at 430am July 22. I’ll never forget running through the doors, down the hall and seeing the image of a male nurse or surgeon doing chest compressions on the most important woman in my world. My best friend. My confidant. The woman I never thought could die. One of the strongest women in my eyes, my mom. The woman I always knew I’d be like.

Thankfully she was revived. But that was just the beginning to the end. The decisions that followed her last cardiac arrest were difficult. Lots of legal decisions, discussions with doctors and nurses about not reviving her if something further happens. We talked to several surgeons who reassured us we’ve done everything.

My point in explaining my mother’s tragedy is hoping to help prevent it to others. It’s nothing anyone should ever have to go through and it’ll haunt me for the rest of my life wondering what my mom felt and went through in her final hours.

Know the symptoms:

If you have a hernia, vomiting with constipation, headaches with unusual stomach pain, this doesn’t add up. You should not be vomiting and constipated at the same time. A typical stomach flu includes the opposite of constipation. A headache on top of this is not a good sign.

Know your body. If you have underlying health conditions like a hernia, irregular bowl, or other diseases affecting the intestines or your abdominal cavity, don’t try to fight off an unusual abdominal pain or severe illness that doesn’t seem right. Timing is everything: If you are severely sick, throwing up in the middle of summer and no one else around you is sick, something might not be right. Typical viruses are contagious. Chances are you will hear someone else had it or catches it.

The questions I’ll ask for the rest of my life, through all my grief counseling I’ve learned I’ll always have these questions and this confusion which I will never find the answers to are:

How? Why? Can’t something more be done? I’ve contemplated contacting the surgeons and a few nurses at Bellin Hospital who worked on my mother’s case about what steps are needed to bring more awareness to people to become more educated on these health matters.

Heart disease and cancer are very serious and important in all their rights. They are the leading causes of death in many statistical studies. But we’ve got education and knowledge on them and so many tools to turn to when these health matters happen. I was more worried about my mother’s heart than I was about her hernia! When someone becomes ill with a heart condition or ailment, families gather and take these illnesses very seriously because we are educated to and aware that heart conditions and cancer diagnosis are always very serious.

In my mother’s case, there wasn’t one of us, no friend or family who even remotely saw a danger in her hernia. No one saw the possibility that her hernia would cause a rupture that would lead to sepsis. So many people who loved her were in shock the weeks, months, and even to this day following her death. I still hear confusion in the voices of others, “how did none of us see this happening? How come we didn’t know these symptoms?”

I simply say there’s just no awareness or resources concerning gastric intestinal ailments, health, hernias, abdominal ruptured or sepsis.

Through all my conversations with many people, the more you talk about this health issue such as hernias, intestinal issues, and health conditions resulting in sepsis, the more you learn that yes, people die from this and they die quickly, like a head on collision from a car accident with nothing left for family members to do but feel blindsided. What happened? How did we not see this coming? How didn’t we know the signs?

I have gathered so many stories I never heard of before my mother’s death. I constantly wonder if I had heard of these stories, would I have known enough to save my mother’s life? I’ll never know or get the chance.

My children’s pediatrician told me her husband’s aunt died from the same exact thing. Ruptured intestines due to a hernia resulting in sepsis. One of the coaches where I bring my daughter to gymnastics told me one of her best friend’s mom died the very same way. One of the nurses caring for my mom lost her father the same exact way. She requested to be assigned to my mom’s case to bring her knowledge in hope she could save my mom’s life in honor of her father. She choked up telling me about it. Another nurse assigned to my mother’s case also told me this happened to her grandmother, but because she’s a nurse and recognized the symptoms, she was able to get her grandmother in just in time. Otherwise she reassured me if she hadn’t worked where she did, she never would have caught it.

And now I read of someone else… Patty Duke. This is so much more common than anyone can realize and yet it’s not talked about enough unless there’s reason to talk about it. It’s time. There’s a million reasons to bring public awareness to the signs and symptoms, preventative care and put people in charge with the knowledge to prevent this from happening to themselves or the ones they love.

My prayers to Patty Duke’s family as I know this is a numbing, confusing circumstance to lose someone to. This is something that you never dreamed possible anyone could die from.

Source: by Jennifer Sikorski (Pamela's daughter)