Natalie Rheannon McGuire

I lost my daughter Natalie, to septic shock in September 2010. She was 13 and much too young to die. She was born with biliary atresia and survived a liver transplant at the tender age of 1 year. She was so strong. The bravest and happiest little girl I ever knew.

The weekend she died, Natalie had an infection, which I later learned was strep; the drug-resistant strand. At that time, I knew she was swollen and sore. I took her to the ER and they did some swabs, gave her codeine for pain, and sent her home with instructions to rest and drink plenty of fluids – the standard directions. She had an appointment with her paediatrician in a few days so I took the advice and brought her home.

That night and next day she slept, only to wake to drink water. I was concerned but couldn’t place my finger on why. I kept an eye on her closely but she was following doctor’s orders, so I figured everything was and would be ok.

The next afternoon I couldn’t shake the feeling that something just wasn’t right and I woke her to talk to me. I discovered she was drinking A LOT but had no output. That surprised me because she ingested a lot of fluid and should need to pee. She was sore so I bathed her and tried to encourage her to go washroom. She couldn’t. She was also so sleepy and hard to engage in conversation. I was torn because her doctor appointment was the next day but I felt she needed to go back to ER. I decided she just couldn’t wait anymore and brought her back to the emergency room.

Apparently she wasn’t septic when she went the first time but was the second time. I think the staff recognized it right away because she was hooked up to every machine they had and was intubated. Within an hour, she went from puzzlingly ill to deathly ill and I didn’t understand what was happening at all. The doctor on call did not explain her situation to me, only saying that they needed to get her to Toronto Sick Kids or she wouldn’t make it.

My girl was just put on the transplant list for a second transplant so I thought that her liver was failing and it was time to get this transplant. No one mentioned sepsis to me though I believe they knew what they were dealing with. All I knew was she was ill and Sick Kids will help her like they always did.

All through the night they worked to stabilize her and they finally sent her to Toronto early that morning. I am terrified to fly so my sister went with her and I was to follow that afternoon after getting some sedatives prescribed for the flight to Toronto. But my girl didn’t live that long. She died shortly after arriving at Sick Kids from septic and hemmoragic shock with multi-organ failure. That phone call floored me. I knew she was sick and it was probably time for transplantation but dead? What happened?? All this happened within 12 hours and I was completely lost. I couldn’t and still can’t comprehend what happened.

There’s really not much more to say after that. I lost her and mourn her every day. She was a beautiful little girl who had a compromised immune system so stood no chance against this killer called sepsis. It took her fast and completely. I always relieve that time and wonder what did I miss? What could have I done different? Could I have saved her somehow? I’ll never answer these questions but they haunt me.

So I survived sepsis but my darling daughter didn’t. It kills the healthy and devastates the already ill. I miss her.

Source: by Mary Grace Thompson (Natalie's mother)