Lily Peeters

I have battled sepsis for 3 times in my life now and I’m only a young woman in my mid-twenties.

It all started when I was 5 years old. I had a high fever and was very ill, and over a week the GP told my mom 2 times it was only the flu, until I became completely unresponsive with a temperature of almost 42C (I live in the Netherlands, therefore I use Celsius). After I was rushed to the ER, the doctors told my mom that they didn’t know if I would make it through the night; all my organs were shutting down and they could not find the culprit. Luckily, I did make it through the night. Eventually they found out it was due to a UTI, that together with a reflux (from my bladder to my kidneys) which resulted in sepsis. (Sepsis and Urinary Tract Infections) After a month I was discharged from the hospital and I was on continuous low-dose antibiotics until I was around 12. Then, it was quiet for a while. Sometimes I had a UTI which I got antibiotics for, but no serious issues. Unitl I was 22.

Again, I had a UTI. Again, I got antibiotics – Nitrofurantoin, which specifically targets the bladder and no other organs (e.g. the kidneys, so if the bacteria has spread there, it’s not targeted). I didn’t feel better and I started having the chills, a high heart rate and my fever didn’t come down. The next day the GP gave me different antibiotics, and although he checked my fever, heart rate and blood pressure he sent me home. However, I only felt worse and worse – I couldn’t control my shaking, my heart was racing, I felt nauseous and very dizzy. That night, at home in my bed, was horrible. The next day I couldn’t take it anymore and my mom rushed me to the ER, I could barely walk.

Luckily, the sepsis protocol in the Netherlands is very good. They took my temperature, heart rate and blood pressure and immediately the alarm bells were ringing – I had sepsis. I had 4 nurses and doctors working on me simultaneously, since my blood pressure was dangerously low, heart rate over 140/min, fever uncontrollably high, I was very disoriented and I got small red spots all over my belly. Immediately they put me on monitoring, drew my blood and placed an IV for antibiotics and fluid. After 6 litres of fluid and lots of antibiotics, I was still not producing any urine and the shaking was still uncontrollable. Again, the doctors had to tell my mom that I had a 40% chance of dying. I was half-awake the whole time and I remember looking at the all the machines – seeing that my heart rate was like crazy and my blood pressure was so low. I realized that I had to stay awake, I fought against the sleepiness, I refused to go into septic shock. I don’t know if my angriness had anything to do with it, but after some hours my blood pressure started to stabilize and my heart rate slowed down – the antibiotics and fluid were doing their work. Again, I made it through the night. I can’t imagine how my mom must have felt.

Slowly, I was recovering, the acute phase was under control – no shaking, normal heart rate, fever coming down.. I had 2 types of antibiotics (IV) and my blood was drawn 6 times a day to see if my kidneys could handle it. I began to have very bad pains in my upper right abdomen. The doctors told me it could well be that my ribs and muscles were bruised because of all the shaking. Some hours later, after more blood was drawn, they told me that my liver was failing. All the liver values were sky high. They weren’t sure if it was the result of the sepsis, or the result of so many antibiotics. However, they could not stop the antibiotics since they had to treat me for sepsis.

After a week, I was allowed to go home. The sepsis was gone and I could start taking oral antibiotics. After a month, my liver values returned to normal. I still have the red spots on my belly, they never went away. After 2 months my stamina was back to normal and I felt happy and healthy, after beating sepsis for the second time.

But, who would have thought I would have to battle it a third time? Only 1 month ago (2.5 years after my second sepsis), I was complaining about frequent urination and some pain. Of course, I went to the GP. They suspected a UTI (although my urine was clean) and they gave me Nitrofurantoin.

I didn’t feel worse (I was pretty alert on sepsis signs) so I went to bed. I woke up after only 30 minutes from terrible pains in my upper abdomen, and uncontrollable shaking. I was moaning and managed to tell my boyfriend to call my mom. My boyfriend (he never saw me like this before) was so scared and I felt so, so sick. My mom drove me to the GP – we told him I have had sepsis twice – who gave me stronger antibiotics and he sent me home with the notion that it should get better from now. Indeed, the following hours I felt better, I even slept a bit.

In the early morning (5 AM) I checked my temperature and I was surprised it was this high. My fever only increased. Around 30 minutes later, it took a bad turn. I started vomiting, had overwhelming pain in my abdomen, my heart was racing, I was shaking uncontrollably again (it looked like seizures) and my boyfriend could not communicate with me.

Immediately my mom and boyfriend rushed me to the ER. Yes, for the third time in my life. In the hospital, where my mom told them I had sepsis before and this looked awfully similar, they started the (very efficient) sepsis protocol again. Again, so many nurses and doctors were working on me. This time however, we went to the hospital in time. My blood pressure was still stable and they gave me IV antibiotics and fluid (and other medicines against the vomiting) to prevent it from getting worse. The same evening my chills were gone, my fever was gone, my heart was recovering and I was smiling in my bed – happy that we caught it in time and I was starting to feel better.

But this time, my liver immediately responded, all my liver values were very high again. They kept monitoring me and giving me IV antibiotics and after 4 days I was allowed to leave the hospital with oral antibiotics. Today, I am still recovering. My liver values are not back to normal yet and they are monitoring it closely. I pray and I pray that in 2 weeks time (they will test my liver values again) my liver has recovered. I am still at home, very tired with pain in my liver but I feel I’m getting stronger and better everyday. The only thing left is for my liver to recover.

The other thing left is for my mind to recover. I have battled sepsis 3 times in my life, of which 2 I can remember very well. It scared me so much, and I don’t trust my body anymore. My liver is starting to protest, it just can’t handle sepsis over and over again. I’m scared that one day, sepsis will come back and that my body just says – I can’t handle all this sepsis anymore! I should not be dealing with this right now in my mid-twenties.

I just want to be healthy and NOT be scared all the time that it might come back. I just want to live, and I want my mom to stop worrying. Right now she just wants me to live in some sort of clean sterile bubble – which I can understand very well. She saw her daughter fighting for her life for 3 times now, and she’s also so scared that the next time my body just might give up. I hope that being alert on the sepsis signs is enough – that everytime I feel something coming I will immediately get sufficient antibiotics (and I will NOT wait until I get a fever or the chills).

I won’t give up. Sepsis is a thing that surprises you in the middle of the night and you can never see it coming. I refuse to live in fear and I will enjoy my life to the fullest. I pray that it will never happen to me again and I’ll be alert for sepsis signs every day. Finally: I am the living proof that proper sepsis protocols result in higher survival of sepsis patients. In the Netherlands every hospital has a sepsis protocol and they check every ER patient for sepsis signs (e.g. fever, heart rate, blood pressure, etc). If they suspect sepsis, immediately you get an IV for antibiotics, they put you on heart monitoring, they draw lots of blood for testing, you get an X-ray of the lungs, an ultrasound of the complete belly, and probably more things that I can’t remember anymore. The last time, they did all this within 30 minutes after my arrival on the ER with sepsis signs. I’m sure that this is the reason I have managed to survive sepsis 3 times.