Danielle Ames
Hello! My name is Danielle Ames, I am 22 years old, and in November 2016, I was admitted in a hospital for a week due to sepsis. It didn’t really hit me, at the time, that I could die from this illness because I didn’t truly understand its impact. The symptoms were so similar to the flu that I thought I was just being a big baby about my symptoms. If it weren’t for my boyfriend literally carrying me to the car, and taking me to the hospital, I probably wouldn’t have gone. And I wouldn’t be here today. I think that is what stuck me the most about my experience.
Even when I arrived at the hospital I wasn’t taken seriously. I had known about a UTI for 2 days before this incident. (Sepsis and Urinary Tract Infections) When I informed the receptionist of this and my worsening condition she simply told me to wait and that I wasn’t a priority case. That just further affirmed my belief that it wasn’t anything major. Luckily for me, my boyfriend came to my rescue again and got someone to see me after having been passed up for two other patients who came in after me.
I had been vomiting, had a high fever and wasn’t really aware of anything going on around me. I’d latter find out that this confusion is induced by sepsis. When the nurse finally examined me, my heart rate was over 190 bpm resting. Everything that followed finding became a bit of a blur. I was immediately rushed into another room where to IVs were hooked up to me and my blood was being drawn.
Suddenly I was a priority case. The stay at the hospital after this was pretty uneventful. I was kept on antibiotics round the clock, and regularly checked up on. The scariest part of my stay was when the pain meds they gave me would wear off. What followed was the most intense pain I have ever experienced, centered around my kidneys. Unfortunately I couldn’t request more pain meds until I was actually in pain!
When I was released from the hospital, it was quite a while before I could really consider myself normal again. My motor functions had been damaged and my ability to concentrate compromised. As a college student, this certainly isn’t good. Even today I still find myself reading slower than before I had sepsis. Seeing the changes in my abilities really affected me, and lowered my self esteem. That’s when I discovered Sepsis Alliance. I was able to learn about post sepsis syndrome (PSS) and connect with other people who experienced the same thing I did! I learned that everything I was experiencing was normal. It’s one thing to hear that from your loved ones, but to see it written in black and white by licensed professionals really made me feel better.
This experience has definitely influenced how I perceive the world now. I’ve discovered that my life is precious and I should take it seriously. Even if something may seem minor, you should always treat it as something major. Whether that be illness or something in everyday life. Before this experience I was so focused on being strong, that I suffered for it. I didn’t want to seem weak and allowed my condition to worsen; ignoring my loved ones telling me to seek help. Trusting your body and mind when it tells you something is wrong can make all the difference.
And there are so many things to do with your life besides school and work, and sepsis really put that all in perspective for me. I still get nightmares, and I still struggle with PSS, but now I know how much a life is truly worth; especially when it’s your own. As a survivor, I know it can be difficult to talk about it. I often felt that I was being more of a burden because I wanted to talk about it, but if anyone needs someone to listen I am here! And you are NOT a burden!
