The Stark Truth of Life After Sepsis for One Survivor
February 11th, 2019
A personal essay by Jenny Lorraine:
In less than two years, I survived two cesarean section births, sepsis three times, septic shock once, a pulmonary embolism that infarcted my right lung, anaphylaxis, and multiple pneumonia episodes.
After everything was done piling on top of me, I found myself with a toddler and a baby, a clouded brain, and extreme pain throughout my entire body.
My dreams and real life were not separated, and I have constant trouble knowing which is which. I have no memories of my children being born, nor of the days following.
Having almost died multiple times, my body set off a genetic autoimmune disease, called ehlers danlos. Massive infection and trauma can awaken this disorder and then your life is even more backward than before.
The braces, canes, pain medication, splints, it still doesn’t help 100%. I just basically survive more than live.
My children don’t get the mother they need. More often than not, we spend the day together in bed with tablets, instead of outside.
I had to resign from my chef career. I pretty much resigned who I was before I got sick.
I’m still alive, but at what cost? I try to not think about the negative, but there’s still a little gray cloud that hangs over my head daily.