Leanne Reynolds

Survivor

I was a completely normal, happy 26-year-old, living my life with my partner and my one-year-old daughter. My sepsis story started one day. I had a busy day and felt very tired but being a mum, I wrote this off as being normal. I went to bed that evening and I felt a slight discomfort in my back, eventually fell asleep but woke with the pain. It was excruciating. I kept thinking what the hell is going on? I wandered around my flat in agony telling myself it would pass but it got worse. I was vomiting, dizzy, disorientated.

My partner called an ambulance and I was taken to A&E, lots of waiting around, screaming in pain. Pretty sure I passed out once or twice. After lots of waiting, they suspected kidney stones. I was given medication and sent home the next morning. I returned to hospital the next day to have a scan that proved it was kidney stones. (Sepsis and Kidney Stones) I was told they would pass in a few days and to take painkillers to help. For around 5 days, I spent my time in agony, being sick, feeling dizzy, shaking uncontrollably. Feeling like a shadow of myself. Praying these stones would pass. In the end it all got so bad and I was shaking out of control from a fever, so my partner called another ambulance. Feeling like I was fitting, the ambulance crew finally admitted me to a hospital ward. There I waited again in such pain. A feeling like my body was stuffed full of tissue paper. So so sick and I was terrified. Completely out of it.

After a while I was told they would operate and put a stent into my kidney to help clear any infection.

I woke up in ITU (intensive therapy unit) high dependency. Not quite sure of the severity of it all, I was highly drugged up and attached to many machines. I was told I had septicaemia (severe sepsis). It had happened due to a kidney stone getting stuck and blocking my tube, leading to a build up of infection. My body was being poisoned that whole time. No wonder it was so painful. I was told I was lucky to be alive.

I had many hallucinations and just got through everyday hoping I would get better. I lost lots of weight and dealt with so much pain. But eventually moved out of ITU and onto a normal ward. Eventually after a few weeks I was allowed home to recover. But I did not feel how I thought I would. I was irritable, emotional, dizzy, in pain, could hardly walk and had little energy or motivation it was awful.

After attempting a shop visit with my mum, I broke down in a panic and was desperate to get home. I was in pieces and had never felt anything like it. I thought I was dying again so was admitted back to hospital but just for the night. The next day I had to wait for a blood test and again felt completely terrified and broke down. These feelings all came out of the blue.

All this happened in July 2015. Since then I have had a urine infection, which of course brought it all back. I’ve been dealing with the panic and waves of feeling scared and in pain. (Sepsis and Post-Sepsis Syndrome) It happens out of the blue and I get a wave of panic and can start to get emotional. I try so hard to carry on. Shopping, being a mum, wife and working but at times I feel I need to cry and I have flashbacks of my illness and can’t believe I am the scared panicking person that I have become. It’s heartbreaking. But pushing myself to do things will hopefully make me feel myself. Also undergoing CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) and a ITU rehab programme. I’m hoping in time my body and mind can return to normal. I am so so lucky to be alive. I just need to focus and get my old mind back. It will take time but I could of been so much worse and I understand how lucky I am. Dealing with sepsis is not easy but I am positive you and I can overcome it.

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