Jessica Kew

I went to hospital for an induction with my 4th baby boy. I had been feeling pressure and the constant need to urinate all night and day prior but put this down to being heavily pregnant.

When I was given the internal pessery to try to kick start things. I was checked after 3 hours and the nurse said my waters were already leaking and I was send to the labour ward. I was 37 weeks pregnant at the time (early induction due to having gestational diabetes)

I was shocked that my labour had kick started so quickly but also happy that it was probably going to be over sooner and I would be able to meet my son.

When we moved to labour ward the midwife popped my waters fully and left me to progress. Contractions came on full swing immediately. But since she broke my waters, every time I stood up I felt the urge to wee/ push a bit and was literally stood weeeing on the floor with the midwife having to put pads down to catch it (bless her). I remember being confused at the sensation because my midwife said it was still my waters coming out but it felt like I was peeing at the same time. It was very strange.

Anyway. My son was born 2 hours later and he was well. I was put on the ward with him and my partner and mum went home. This was around 1:30am.

I was the only mum on the ward at the time. So at about 2:30am I suddenly became extremely cold and this very quickly escalated to me having full blown full body shivers. I called for help and the midwife helped me settle and said it was maybe because I was near the vent above! When in reality this was the first signs of sepsis taking hold. And she failed to recognise it. I remember feeling really scared. I had never experienced anything like this with my previous 3 babies. And the hospital wards are extremely hot too. But I felt freezing. I was exhausted so I think I passed out for a bit

When my partner came back in the morning. I suddenly started again to have a shivering episode but this time I was way more intense and uncontrollable and lasted for a long time. It was scary. I was suddenly surrounded by so many doctors and nurses all trying to help. I had a temperature and sweating but I felt freezing cold.

I look at pictures at the time and I looked like I was a death’s door which I technically was. I was so pale. I managed to get to the toilet to give a wee sample and the words from the doctors mouth was your urine is absolutely full of germs!

They put a IV in my arm and immediately started me on antibiotics to treat sepsis. I was taken back to the labour ward so I could have better care and have my own room. They took my blood cultures and all other tests to ensure what exactly they were dealing with and where it came from.

All seemed well for another few hours. My other half went home again. However I suddenly started feeling cold again. I called and asked for a blanket from the midwife and she seemed shocked that I was asking for one. Then suddenly I started having another episode. And this one was bad. It was the 3rd one and I was all alone with just me and my poor little new born laid next to me while I struggled to keep still. I started to cry fearing my life. I honestly felt like I was dying. The midwife stayed with me until it subsided it was so scary.

I needed stronger antibiotics and they had to ask if I would like to have them or not as they were extremely strong and likely cause sickness and other symptoms. I just said yes and luckily I was ok with them.

I survived sepsis but it was an ordeal and the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. it had stemmed from a UTI that it didn’t know I had at the time of giving birth. (Sepsis and Urinary Tract Infection, Sepsis and Pregnancy & Childbirth)

This happened 2 years ago. And I have since learnt that I have post sepsis syndrome. I have a weekend immune system which in PSS terms is ‘long term immune paralysis,’ which due to having sepsis. It can leave many people’s immune systems in a state of exhaustion. That can fluctuate for years following.

I catch everything my children bring home and I get ill again just as quickly as I recover. I am anemic, I have nerve damage and exaggerated bowel problems, memory problems, mood swings, PTSD and many many more symptoms, all of which I didn’t have before I had my son.

It’s exhausting and makes me so sad that I am not the same energetic person that I was before. But since learning about post sepsis syndrome, it had eased my anxiety that there is a reason why I’m always feeling like I’m at deaths door and it’s all because I am a sepsis survivor