Bruce E. Fatigate
This is a silent killer. My soon-to-be husband, 48 years of age, was complaining of back pain on a Wednesday morning and was very much in pain the next day, so I told him he should be getting better, not worse and to please go to the hospital. He refused and said he would be fine he even had a nice dinner I made him. He was drinking plenty of fluids but not using the bathroom normally.
On Friday night, when I noticed he was breathing kind of funny, I asked him would he like to do a breathing treatment and he said no, he was okay. I’m like, “No you’re not. Something is not right. Please let;s go to the hospital and at least get them to an X-ray of your back and see why your breathing has became shallow.” Bruce had his spleen removed 10 years prior, so his immune system was weaker then others who have their spleen. So Friday night, around 2 am, I noticed he would get up out of bed and sit there. He asked if my 21-year-old daughter was going to be able to catch the school bus?
I’m like, “What honey? The school bus?” And he said, “Oh never mind. I’m sorry baby.” I asked him if he wanted anything he said yes, some orange juice, so I made him a half of glass of orange juice. I noticed him shaking a little and asked why are you shaking? He said he was not – I said yes hun, I see your hand shaking, so again I begged him to go to the hospital. He told that he would go in the morning. He wanted to get some sleep. I’m like, “Okay, do you promise me?” And he said yes, I promise. So I set the alarm for 8:45 am because now it was 4 am in the morning!
So Saturday, my alarm went off and I saw Bruce laying his head towards the middle of the bed and his feet kind of hanging off the bed. He said, “It hurts. Please help me up, help me up.” Oh my gosh, I ran over to his side of the bed and said, “Grab on to me.” And he did. I lifted him up where his feet were touching the floor and I saw his arms shaking. I told him, “I’m calling 911.”
He did not fight me this time about going, But I knew driving was out of the question. Time was of the essence and they arrived within 5 minutes. They checked his vitals: fine. Sugar was fine. No fever, but they were concerned with his breathing. Now it was like he was gasping for air and they laid him back down and put the oxygen tubes right below is nose. I will never for get his beautiful hazel eyes and the pupils were very small. And he said, “Please, get it out. Get it out.” I said, “No honey,” while I kept it in his nose and rubbed his head. I said your going to feel so much better now and they are going to take care of you, and I would be right up there – not to worry. He will feel better and come back home after they see why he was breathing like that. He looked like he gave up and did not say anything really! I went and saw that they had put him in ICU. He looked swollen and something was not right. I’m like, what is going on he did not look like this when he left home?
They said he had fluid in his lungs and that he is sedated. They were pumping two different antibiotics in him, one which would kill anything you have, the nurse said to me. So I said, “Will he be okay?” She told me, Well, right now, we’re waiting on more test results to come back and the doctor will be able to saw more as to what is happening to my everything, my world, my best friend. She said, “He is in dream land and that his blood pressure was up and down, but at the time it was okay.” While we were there, I put a picture of us on the white board they write on and told her when he comes to, to tell him that I was here, and to please call when he is no longer sedated so I can hurry and go up and talk with him. She said that 9:00 am would be a good time to come back, so I rubbed his head and his hair, and told him how much I loved him, to please get well and come home, and on an on. My daughter and I left to go home and I Googled some things, and wrote notes for the doctor so I would not forget anything.
I came across sepsis and wrote it in my book, and thought, “my gosh please Lord, do not let it be this. He had no fever, nor any skin rashes, so I’m okay. He is going to be okay.” He is a fighter, because he was trying to breathe on his own.
Long story short: They called at 9:30 and said you may want to call the other family members, and said that Bruce was taking a turn for the worse – his blood pressure dropped to 50/40. I was in shock. I’m like, “What is going on?” She said the doctor would talk to me when we all arrived.
When we arrived, they told us that Bruce was not well and he had two different blood infections. I asked if one of them was SEPSIS and pointed at my book where I had written it down, He looked and said yes! And another, beginning a the letter A. We still have not received cause of death. It’s been one week and 3 days and I wish no one ever had to go through something like this with their loved one. It’s awful I went in after the doctor told us that we have to have his blood pressure up to 140/40 in order to put him on the dialysis machine . They were giving him medicine every 35 to 45 minutes to try and keep his blood pressure up so they would be able to have the kidney doctor take over.
They said only 2 at a time and we had to wear small yellow mask over our mouth and nose. His son and I were the first ones to go and see him, and they said to try and keep strong, that they were doing everything they were able to. When I walked in there and saw him, I did not know or understand what was going on. Why was there blood coming out his mouth, his nose, his lungs? He was not the same as the night before! He was even more swollen and his legs felt hard. They said to pray and that they were maxed out on everything they were able to give him. So I was in and out for the next 3 hours, talking to him telling him stories, cleaning his face, asking the nurse questions. I was so in disbelief and confused why. He was fine 4 nights ago and complained of putting his back out. A little cold, and then the breathing started Friday night.
After about 3 hours, and keep in mind they were giving 4 cc of medicine to try an higher his blood pressure every 45 minutes, when, normally he said you would give a patient 4 cc every 3 to 4 hours! So as the hours passed and I’m like a little cheerleader in there, talking and talking, trying to stay positive knowing this will not take my love from me no way! Bruce’s blood pressure started to rise and I was like, “Yes, all right! We’re getting closer. We had it to 87/40 and then the nurses said that they would need to paralyze him because he was fighting the machine and trying to breath on his own. This was putting more pressure on his organs. So I went out to the waiting area. By then his sisters and brother had arrived and I said something does not feel right. He is in there fighting to breath.
My daughter and I walked to the lobby going to get a bit of fresh air and when we opened the doors to go outside, my phone rang. They said that I needed to come up there, that he turned blue and was flat lining. My heart dropped. With 12 to 13 minutes of him being paralyzed, they had two men trying to bring him back and that sound will haunt me forever. The bed was bouncing up and down, the sound of the springs. I felt my heart drop and I had pains. I was pulling my ears, asking his family that never realty spoke with him how can you sit here and listen to that, why? My daughter said, “MOM, let’s go sit you down,” because my chest was pounding. Not even 5 minutes sitting there, trying to catch my breath, they came out and said he was gone!
My world was torn apart. My soul mate had left me all alone and I’m still in shock over this sepsis. Yes everyone needs to know about what it can do to you and your loved ones! I wish no one would have to go through what I did and I’m so sorry for everyone that has had to go through this and I know it’s hard. God Bless! In Loving Memory of Bruce E. Fatigate, August 29,1965, to January 26,2014. God saw you getting tired, When a cure was not to be, So he put his arms around you and whispered “Come with me” I love you Bruce you will always be here with me and in my heart, FOREVER!
Source: by Cathy Fannin
