Alisha H.
I was 23 years old and was moderately overweight (and very pregnant) and I developed gestational diabetes. (Sepsis and Diabetes) The doctors decided to induce me June 8th 2015 at 39 weeks gestation. Labor was a slow process because I was a first-time mom and trying to force my body to deliver early.
My membranes ruptured (water broke) naturally on day two of labor, and on day four I still was only dilated to a five, so they asked me to consent to a c section. After some tears and thinking it through, I agreed. They put a catheter in my urethra (four risk factors here: over weight and under 25, 2) gestational diabetes 3) catheter 4) major abdominal surgery) and put a catheter in my spine for anethesia (epidural). They had to do the epidural twice, the first one was placed terribly and only numbed half my body and made me feel like i was going to pass out (lose consciousness).
Surgery went well, besides the fact I experienced a rare side effect, where my lungs where partially numb so I felt as if I had to cough, choking, and can’t breathe. I kept asking why/what I was feeling. I kept getting ignored. I started to panic, thinking something was wrong and that’s why I was having trouble breathing. Was I dying while remaining awake during surgery?! Until someone (I assume anesthesiologist) pushed ketamine through my IV to “calm me down,” all it did was make me hallucinate very badly, have no association with my body, and was completely disconnected from reality. I remember fighting to stay conscious.
I was in and out of blackness and have no recollection of anything shortly after the hallucinations stopped. I missed my first-born child’ss birth and first cry. According to my husband I was awake and crying and not making sense, but I remember nothing of that. I was unaware of anything happening to me or around me, unaware of who i even was. Or who anyone was.
Next thing I remember was waking up the next day, with a baby in my hospital room. I had a hard time wrapping my head around what happened. I have issues to this day with feeling robbed of my memories. I have none. I feel like if they would have communicated and explained the symptom I was feeling is normal and can sometimes happen and I would be okay, my oxygen levels where fine, I would have been able to keep it together and would never have gotten the ketamine (horse tranqualizer, literally),
The first day I recall after that disaster of a c section, was I had intense back pain, debilitating even with pain meds. Doctors said it was normal, probably nerve pain from my epidural, or the hospital bed since I’ve been here for five days now. I agreed. A day or so later my leg had swollen to twice the size of my left leg, and my back pain was intolerable. And I now had painful urination, a burning sensation. And I felt the chilled achy feeling you get with a fever. I immediately told my doctors. They sent a nurse twice to do a urine test to check for a UTI, but with having a c section, having this horrid back pain let alone pain from surgery, a swollen leg, I couldn’t get up very quickly. It took me a good ten minutes to get from my bed to the bathroom. And then you have to do that pee-stop- wipe- pee thing for an accurate urine sample. Well I ended up pissing myself each time i tried to do the test. I could never stop the flow.
By the time I made it to the bathroom it felt like I couldn’t hold my bladder at all (weakened bladder?) I told the nurses and they kind of gave up, said it wouldn’t be accurate anyway, that the sample would contain blood no matter what because I had just given birth. That was it. (Mind you, my nurses never offered to help me shower, never changed my bedsheets, never restocked my room. Never helped with anything but my meds and checking vitals. Each time I wanted a shower, we had to send my baby to the nursery and my husband had to help me shower. And he isn’t a trained medical professional. The nurses never even told me I COULD shower. They never even offered! I still had blood and iodine all over me ! And all over my bed! I asked the nurses to change my sheets and they literally said it wasn’t their job. So I asked for fresh sheets and my husband had to do it) Anyway, the next day I was chilled so bad I was shaking uncontrollably. I was on a steady rotation of Motrin and a type of vicodin (both where fever reducers!) but I still had a low grade despite constant fever reducers in my system. When the pain meds wore off, my fever would spike to 104 degrees, sometimes as high as 105. Doctors would give me the pain meds and come back and check and the fever would now be at 101. Which they told me was “normal” with just having surgery. Everything i came to them with was “oh it’s normal”, pretty much suck it up. Back pain? Normal. Burning while I pee? Normal. High fever? Normal. They took some blood for labs, and sent me home the next day. I asked for antibiotics and they never gave me a script.
After a few days home i was in real bad shape. Trying to breastfeed but my body was so ill I did not produce breast milk. Called them, they said that too was normal. Said I still had a fever, they said, you guessed it, it was normal. One day it got so bad, I knew i was in serious trouble. I was starting to hallucinate, would wake up screaming, didn’t have energy to get out of bed, let alone care for my newborn. Back was on fire with electrocuting, shocking pain that radiated outward from my back in throbbing white hot pulses. Constantly. I don’t know what I was thinking, I was half out of my mind. I drove 45 minutes to my doctor, baby in tow, c section and all (not supposed to drive for six weeks). I didn’t even call, didn’t have an appointment. I demanded to speak with my ob/gyn. The receptionist refused to even emergency schedule me in, refused to get the doctor so I could talk to her. So I literally cried and begged for antibiotics, she reluctantly agreed and sent them to my pharmacy. It was against policy to send a script to the pharmacy without being seen by a physician.
About and hour later I arrived at my pharmacy, in severe pain, exhausted, for my pharmacy to tell me they never received the script. I asked them to call my doctor’s office. They said they tried, it was after hours now and no one was there. I broke down and sobbed. I was trying to save my life at this point. I knew something was terribly wrong. I went home with not an ounce of energy left in me. Had someone come over to watch the baby because I was hysterical, crying and in so much pain. Delirious. Don’t ask me why I didn’t just go to the ER. I have no idea why. Maybe someone suggested it and i was too exhausted? I honestly couldn’t tell ya. Well I must have caused enough commotion at my doctor’s office because the next day I had a doctor calling me telling me I needed to meet him at the hospital immediately, that he looked at my charts since I was there, hysterical the day before. And my blood work came back (the blood work that was done the day I was discharged from the hospital) and I had a slew of rare bacteria in my bloodstream and was septic, that I couldn’t wait and to call an ambulance if I needed to.
I got a family member to babysit my baby and drove myself back up to this hospital that I felt abused me, was admitted and immediately started on intravenous antibiotics. They also commented on my giant right leg (super swollen) and had an ultrasound to find clots (thankfully there was none). A few days later I begged to be back with my baby. Not only was I traumatized from not being coherent during birth and have no memory of it, now I am trusting a family member to take my newborn whom I haven’t even bonded with yet because I’ve been literally deathly ill. They sent me home the following day with a PICC line in my arm and I had to give the rest of my antibiotics intravenously on my own at home.
Finally the infection was gone, but on my 6 week post partum check, I mentioned I was pretty pissed that I ended up septic, and the nurse said “oh don’t use those words, you had blood poisoning, a blood infection, you weren’t septic, never say septic.” I’m like lady, what do you think sepsis is???? Blood infection! Blood poisoning! Literally my discharge papers said diagnosis “sepsis.” She was done with me at that point and dismissed me. I later learned I had a UTI, and kidney infection (hello, that’s where the burning urination and insane back pain where from! No brainer! I tried to tell them but noooo, I didn’t know anything right??) Well the kidney infection backed up into my blood stream. Leaving me septic. (Sepsis and Urinary Tract Infections, Sepsis and Pregnancy & Childbirth) I was a first time young naive mom, who put way too much trust in doctors’ OPINIONS. I have learned to be my own advocate. I’ve leaned to trust and listen to my body, ask questions, ask why, make them explain, make them run tests. DON’T let them sweep your symptoms under the rug. It might get you killed ! I feel like if they just trusted ME a little, I trusted them with my LIFE and they couldn’t trust me a little?
That I knew my body, and knew when something wasn’t right, I wouldn’t have had to endure that awful experience! If there where open lines of communication, and they didn’t just dismiss me as a “whiner” or a hypochondriac, and actually listened to me like a human being, I wouldn’t had to have gone through all of that.
That’s not even where it ends. Yes I was no longer septic, but I still was having problems. My PICC line got pinched and I had to get it removed before my meds where finished. Thankfully the sepsis didn’t come back. Then my c section burst open (I was overdoing it, but had no choice) and had to go back to that damned hospital to get re stitched. It was absolute horror. I am so thankful I survived and have learned the hard way, to always trust your body!!!!! I’m thankful I am here typing this two years later with my toddler in my lap, who I might not have even gotten the chance to know if I wouldn’t have stormed my doctor’s office that day and demanded help! I quite literally saved my life that day. It’s scary thinking about what could have happened if I hadn’t gone. I was technically septic for more than a week, and deteriorating fast. What if I waited one more day? Would I have gone into shock? Went to sleep and never woke up with my helpless newborn in her crib crying until daddy came home to find us? Worst experience of my life, and birth is supposed to be something magical, that you remember forever. And what memories I have left of it (gee thanks ketamine) are the worst times of my life. It has scarred me so much I never want another child, because I’m terrified of it happening again.
